somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
