Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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