All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
