Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
