Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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