so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
sex in a hospital.. check
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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