your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
