Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
