this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
