Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
