they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
