so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
