How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
