Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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