what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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