I wannas sexs uuuuu
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's on the porch naked. Help.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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