About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
