he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
