Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
