I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
