if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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