STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
