I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
