omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
