She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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