i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
