yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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