remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
