happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
