Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it's like iHOP with fire
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
