May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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