my phone needs a breathalizer
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
