just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
