Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
