I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
