Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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