Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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