The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I had to cum in my sink.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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