You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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