Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
