I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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