Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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