She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
