so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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