he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
