Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
