He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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