Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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