New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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