just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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