I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize